No Hassles, No Charge

Can anyone else feel the rush of a life lived by a failed plan? I know the reason I started this blog, for the inspirations I have in my day to day life, but I feel like the most inspirations I have come from a plan that fails the most. I can’t remember a plan that I successfully enjoyed from the time I planned it to the time it presents itself. I’m like a quarterback that chooses to call an audible at the line, it may not be what the coach ordered, but hell it works just as well if not better. I’ll edit my blog just for the sake of this, the life of Bryan “don’t you love it when a plan fails to come together.”

I have days to record, but this night is so notable that I have to make sure that I write it before I even come to bed. On the plus side, even though I’m open about writing about myself, I hate being too easy, so you can learn about me through my experiences and stories I have to tell…

Tonight, I planned on a $20 dollar night eerily after I tell my roommate that I’ve wanted to go out and play some poker even though it’s been months maybe even years before I’ve had a successful night of poker. Successful by having fun, not so much winning. By winning we may have to back the clock hands even further.

But I set aside enough money for my downpay and make plans on what to do with the winnings. As the Mr. GQ self that I try to present myself as, I come in dressed to present myself to the chips, a little bit of a superstition that I have. Dress well, do well – works more than just for grades. But I’m wearing what I might wear to a club – chinos, banana republic long sleeve, and some aldo shoes.

Sadly the cards didn’t fall my way chasing flops to the river with hands that would statistically beat 7-2 off suits. Now in my mind, I’m thinking 7-2 off suit is the underdog of the yea. Out of my followers and readers, if you even exist, remember the 7-2 off suit might come back to crush your pocket rockets.

I was playing this game with my roommate’s (Matt Rainey) co-worker and his friends. These people are easily 10 years or so older than both Rainey and I. Even with more statistics and poker knowledge, these kids run through. So people who have seaked my help for poker advice, you may have to hold back on me actually writing a book.

After playing, these guys (Mike and Steve) ask us about our after-game plans. Being underagers with people who have a history of running the night scene of Milwaukee, these guys take us on a night on the town. This all started at a Lesbian bar on the southside called “the pint.”

Let me brief you guys on the pint. This place has more girls making out with each other than the raunchiest videos you can find on youporn. They have probably one of the nicest outdoor patios (decided on comfort) that I have been to. If it weren’t for the dyke waitress and terrible sexual atmosphere, this place could easily reach the top of my favorite bars of Milwaukee list.

As I walk into the bar the first time, my buddy, Mike, evades the bouncer simply by walking in and not caring. I don’t think the butch bouncing betty would’ve caught up with him anyway (Mike is a huge 30 y.o. MMA fighter, keep in mind). My first impression was to think this place was awesome with the almost naked dancer in front of the DJ and the girls making out with each other, but I had my second guesses with my vision would clear and realize that some of these girls were actually dudes, and the sudo-stripper along with other people following the theme, were covered in fake blood in a zombie manner. If I was in a more sober, nerdier, state I might have whipped out a shotgun and ran to the nearest Wal-mart. But to my amusement, Rainey calls my shot of Three Olives Gay and gets our bartender to hate us for the rest of the night.

After a lost game of bar dice, Mike and I abandon Rainey and Steve at the Pint to go to Stenley’s another bar in the Gay southside of the town. Here we open up to a little bit of dancing, granted I dance with a fat 40-something and a just married early-30s-or-so. Good measurement though; Marquette Girls – not the most easily amused, Cougars and Pumas - enjoy the ride. With a little confusion at the bar, I ended up paying for Mikes beer. Later in the night, even with how cut and fight experienced (scary stories I hear) Mike is, I get a couple bucks for my ride out to Judges with Rainey and Steve via Mike. Good guy hopefully we play some more poker.

Judges though, I know the rest of my MU crowd may say “WTF Mate” but this was my first time there. And hell, what a great first time. Steve as a nearing 30 year old insurance agent, previously was a football linebacker at Concordia University and bouncer at Judges. With his previous history, drinks were free all night. Free Guinness? Bar losing money because of it? No big deal…

I guess the most interesting part is playing bar dice and cheering up this girl, Michelle, when she seemed to be pretty down. A late-20-or-so girl with a douchebag boyfriend. As she was leaving the bar she said something aloud around the effects of “OMG I don’t think I can see straight.” In response into the wild wind I said “Don’t get lost now” in a sense of “be careful.” Her boyfriend though, understand why he was a douchebag, comes over to me in the most serious face and says “Better shut your mouth.” Not that I couldn’t handle it myself but hell that kid would probably be a famous rapper like Kanye because he would have to go through so much jaw wiring if Mike was around.

Though the bar closed at 2 we stayed for a good little while and walked over to Dogg Haus on Brady. The walk over there good ol’ Rainey chucked up but we ushered and cheered him on. In my GQ attire, Steve calls me gay because of how my ass was shaped with my chinos. Instantly I respond, “Coming from the guy coming from the queer side of town staring at my ass.” Don’t quite remember his response, but I felt like a baller with my instant response.

At the DH there were these girls getting hit on left and right by this homeless dude and guy that followed them back from the bars. I feel bad for the guys because like the GQ player that I am, I need not really try. All I did was look down and talk about their shoes and discuss my invention (talk to me personally if you want to hear about the invention). The girls were all over it and easily talked for a good little bit.

At the end of the night though it wasn’t me with a pretty little sweet thing between the sheets. Unknowingly to me, Rainey may have a little bit of a sweet heart in a girl I had no clue was going to have any sort of relationship with. Rainey if you’re reading this right now, you owe me 7 from the taxi cab, without which you would be getting off into the condoms you didn’t need.

G’night folks and maybe I’ll get around to documenting the rest of the unplanned adventures that I’ve had.

Epic Rager

Last night was Jojos 21^st birthday and it was a rager. The plan was to meet up at the 2040s, drive around the 414, stop at Sullivan’s, and finish the night off at apartment 720. Sounds good right? Problem is that, whenever I’m involved with plans, there’s always a good amount of snags.

It started out with me running late for the party. I always find myself a little late. I was dressing up with my dark jeans, CK shirt, Aldo shoes, and my new Alfani jacket – just to let you guys know how ritzy these plans were supposed to be. People were arriving at the 2040s by 8:30 but I took off 15 minutes prior for some blue moons and reach an ATM to grab some cash. The long line at the checkout and all the ATMs broken around the city because of the flood really didn’t help me out. I eventually found one at OP with the help of a street bum but was charged 3 bucks for transactions fees. 4 bucks technically because I gave the bum a dollar. Problem with street trash is that they’re completely ungrateful. I’m one for tossin guys down on their luck a bone but if you don’t even appreciate your blessings then do you expect people to lend a helping hand? He originally asked for 30 cents, with no change I gave him a dollar and he pleaded for more and actually got mad when I said no. He made the decision to live the lifestyle he does, if you really wanted to get your act together and live a comfortable life, it’s all about the choices you make and discover what are luxuries and what are necessities.

The party bus was it’s own adventure, being late to the party I just chilled in the bus, melted really – no AC in the bus made the place heat up to at least 100*F, being dressed the way I was really made me drip. Everyone was already drunk coming on to the bus, I was kind of already expecting it, but I felt bad for Party Bus Donny. Brand new bus driving a bunch of drunk and drinking minors to bars, there’s a good amount of legalities granted we signed a waiver releasing him of any potential lawsuits. To exemplify the drunkenness of the people aboard, one of my buddies Teske, dropped and broke a Heineken on the hardwood floor almost 30 seconds after Donny’s speech about trying to keep the place clean. Driving around Marquette someone sat on a Styrofoam cooler and broke it spreading all of the ice, water, and booze onto the floor. When we made a pit stop to wait for Teske (He ran out to grab some dress shoes when we stopped to pick up the coolers and left him there accidently because everyone else came back much faster – actually we didn’t reunite with him until he walked and met us at Sullivans, broken phone and we couldn’t get a hold of him) Donny basically bitched at us saying that we’re ruining our buddy’s 21^st birthday party – much needed to calm everyone down, even I was a tad annoyed at the drunk level of some of the people, I’d be more tolerant if I was right up there with them.

Sullivan’s was interesting, mostly because it was it’s 2^nd to last night before closing and it was pretty close to empty. But even though it was empty we ran into many faces I haven’t seen all summer and a reuniting face in Mr. Teske. He decided he’d just come to Sullivan’s because it would be the best way to get in touch with us. Back to the drunkenness of the people, someone spilled a drink on Ty and he assumed it was Will and started shit in the bathroom leading to them being kicked out of the bar, which actually was fine because I was trying to get people back into the bus as we were leaving for Apartment 720. Problem was though, the shit that started in the bar was spilling over into the street. Weirdly Ty had some friends in Milwaukee and just happened to be close by to try to back him up against Will. Being the separator like always, I got those kids to back off, and both of the guys on different ends of the bus. Ty’s friends thought they’d keep an eye on Ty and Will and jump aboard our party bus. I have no clue what they were thinking, if they’re not invited they shouldn’t crash a private event. Managed to bring Jojo along to tell them to get out and we were well on our way to 720.

This is the part where I thought I was completely fine… The way the night ended I guess I really wasn’t. All the alcohol I was bingeing decided to just hit me all at the same time and that time was sometime in the 720s. Not too much was really all that exciting to write about, but I have no clue how we got home.

As I was suffering through my morning, scratch that, late afternoon when I woke up, I was a mess with questions. I woke up with some drink stains on my undershirt, Ck shirt, and jacket; my pants was down to my ankles; and there was a handle of Thompson on the living room table next to a box of Jimmy Johns, just hoping I didn’t pay for it. I was texting Will, Gabe, and Maria to piece my puzzled night together and apparently Will and Maria had to walk me home. Kasia was walking me back to the 2040s after the party bus dropped us off at Mashuda for me to blow chunks.

Overall a successful evening with a miserable morning. Always kinda strange that there’s a yin and yang to it all. With great things come an equal and opposite bad.